I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
