He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
