Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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