I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
