I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize