a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
