worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
