so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
