i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
