A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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