Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
