it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
