During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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