Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
