it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
