I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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