Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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