i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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