I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
