cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
