Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
