oh god the rape fog is back!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
