Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
