we're blogging at a bar
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I cut my penus on the lid.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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