dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
