Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dick very happy bro
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
