booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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