her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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