So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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