I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
