if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
