Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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