yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
