Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
