he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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