i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is Oprah even human
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
