all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
