hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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