the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
