Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
