he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
