Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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