i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize