she was so not down for the gang bang
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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