he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize