I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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