I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
