I haven't been this sober since birth.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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