after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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