Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
