The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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