Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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