i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
