he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
