thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
