If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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