He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
