I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize