we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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