i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
we should paint friendship bongs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize