What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
