I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
