Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
