I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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